“The First Time in My Rectum” – Vanessa Valou (1979)

 Banned in 14 countries.
 Revered in smoke-filled underground bars.
 Misunderstood by nearly everyone who ever heard it.

In the late 1970s, while disco dominated the dance floors from New York to Los Angeles and punk roared from smoke-choked basements of the city’s underground, an almost-unknown singer walked into a recording studio with a bold ambition: to create music the world had never heard before.

Her name? Vanessa Valou.

According to whispers among rare record collectors, Vanessa arrived at her first recording session in a tight red dress, her golden hair perfectly coiffed, and a mischievous smile that made the production team unsure if she was serious or playing a joke on them.

But when the first demo played, laughter instantly faded.

The record was a curious blend of seductive disco rhythms, strange and provocative lyrics, and a fearless sense of humor. It was unlike anything being played on the radio at the time. Some called it a work of genius. Others called it pure madness captured on tape.

 The album quickly became a source of controversy within the record label.

One local music critic famously described it as:

“Bizarre, seductive, and completely unsuitable for daytime radio.”

Rumors began to spread.

Some say the very first pressings were recalled just weeks after production. Others claim hundreds of LPs were secretly buried in the basement of a small church in Ohio, destroyed after a group of parents protested the album’s content.

No one can confirm it.
No one can deny it.

And that very ambiguity transformed the record into legend.

Over the years, surviving copies allegedly surfaced in flea markets, second-hand record stores, and secretive collectors’ auctions. Each time, the story of Vanessa Valou reignited.

 Some underground DJs claimed they played tracks from the album only at midnight, away from the prying eyes of radio managers.
 Bar owners in Chicago and Detroit tell tales of patrons requesting the record as a joke, only to stay until the entire album played.

 And listeners of the record often split into two camps:

• Those who swear it’s a forgotten masterpiece.
• Those who believe it should never have been recorded in the first place.

To this day, one question remains:

Did Vanessa Valou truly create one of the most controversial underground albums of the late ’70s,
or was it all an urban legend, nurtured by lost recordings and the imaginations of music lovers?

Whatever the truth, the name “The First Time in My Rectum” continues to spark conversations about the strangest and most talked-about unreleased albums of its era.

And perhaps that’s exactly why its legend will never die.