For years, Sandra Bullock was living through a painful goodbye that almost no one outside her closest circle knew was happening.

Her longtime partner, photographer Bryan Randall, had been diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or ALS, and had asked that his illness remain private. Bullock honored that request, even as his condition transformed their family life and left her carrying much of the emotional weight in silence.

Now, three years after Randall’s death at age 57 in August 2023, Bullock is speaking publicly about what those years were really like.

During an appearance on the SmartLess podcast with Jason Bateman, Will Arnett and Sean Hayes, the 62-year-old actress described Randall’s diagnosis as traumatic and explained that her grieving began long before his death.

“I started grieving Bryan four years before he passed,” Bullock said, noting that Randall was sick for roughly half of the years they spent together.

A Diagnosis They Kept Within the Family

Randall spent three years privately battling ALS, a progressive neurological disease also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease.

From the beginning, he wanted his medical situation kept out of public view.

For Bullock, respecting that decision meant she could not openly discuss one of the most difficult experiences of her life. The secrecy became especially difficult during the COVID-19 pandemic, when much of the world was already dealing with separation and uncertainty.

Bullock said Randall’s request for privacy left her feeling isolated while she tried to manage the enormous reality of his diagnosis.

At first, even many people close to the actress did not know what the family was facing.

Her sister, Gesine Bullock-Prado, was the only person aware of Randall’s diagnosis for a period of time. Eventually, Bullock began confiding in a few trusted friends, including Jennifer Aniston and Amanda Anka, Bateman’s wife.

As Randall’s physical illness progressed, Bullock said mental health struggles also became part of the experience, creating an increasingly difficult situation behind closed doors.

Grieving Someone Who Was Still There

For Bullock, one of the hardest parts of ALS was the way the illness changed the man she loved before his life actually ended.

“My person left a lot earlier than the body left,” she said.

The actress suggested that she did not fully process what had happened while she was living through it. Her attention was consumed by the constant responsibilities and decisions that come with caring for someone whose health is deteriorating.

Getting answers had also taken time.

Bullock described the path to Randall’s ALS diagnosis as a long process of elimination involving repeated appointments and physical assessments, including breathing tests and tests of grip strength. The uncertainty stretched over approximately a year before the family understood what they were confronting.

Once they did, Bullock shifted into planning mode.

Serious illness itself was not unfamiliar territory for her. She recalled having experienced medical crises involving her parents, including her mother’s cancer and accidents suffered by her father. Those experiences had made her capable of functioning around sickness and difficult circumstances.

But this time, she was not thinking only about herself and Randall.

There were children watching what was happening.

Protecting the Children Through an Unthinkable Change

Bullock and Randall shared a blended family.

They co-parented Bullock’s son Louis and daughter Laila, along with Randall’s daughter from a previous relationship, Skylar Staten Randall.

Bullock said she was particularly aware of what the illness meant for her two younger children. Laila, in particular, viewed Randall as a father figure.

That added another layer to Bullock’s responsibilities. She was privately preparing for what might come while also helping two young children make sense of the changes they were witnessing in someone important to them.

It was a family crisis unfolding away from cameras, interviews and public statements.

When Randall died in August 2023, his family revealed that he had been living with ALS for three years. They said he had chosen early in his illness to keep the diagnosis private and that those caring for him had worked to respect that decision.

A Relationship That Began in 2015

Bullock and Randall had been together since 2015.

Randall, who had worked as a model before becoming a photographer, met the actress that year. Their relationship became more publicly visible later in 2015 when they attended Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux’s wedding.

Over the years that followed, Randall became deeply integrated into Bullock’s home and family life.

Then his illness changed the rhythm of that life.

By Bullock’s description, caregiving became a kind of relentless forward motion. There was little space to stop and fully absorb the emotional loss happening alongside the physical progression of the disease.

Only after Randall died did she begin confronting everything she had been carrying.

Life After the Loss

Bullock largely turned inward after Randall’s death.

She devoted time to her children, remained close to home and focused on healing before returning fully to her professional life. Someone familiar with her situation previously said that Bullock needed to make sure both she and her children were in the strongest possible place before she resumed working.

Her return now includes Practical Magic 2, the sequel to the 1998 film in which she starred alongside Nicole Kidman.

The new movie reunites Bullock with Kidman, Stockard Channing and Dianne Wiest and also features Joey King, Maisie Williams, Xolo Maridueña, Lee Pace and Solly McLeod. The film is scheduled to arrive in theaters Sept. 10.

But Bullock’s comments about Randall offer a glimpse of what was happening far away from her public career.

For years, she was simultaneously a partner, caregiver and mother trying to hold a family together through a progressive illness — all while respecting the wishes of the person she loved.

Her grief did not begin on the day Randall died.

It began years earlier, as illness gradually changed their relationship and forced the family to prepare quietly for a future none of them wanted.

Only now, after years of silence and time spent rebuilding life with her children, Bullock is finally able to put words to a loss she had once promised to keep private.